The Wedding Crunch pt 2

The wedding planning week continued with a visit to my hair and makeup team, Jessie Glova Style Studio. The atmosphere was fabulous and the team nice but maybe a little aprehensive to strangers. I discovered later, their all very diva and that’s probably it. I can readily identify that sort of diva after living in the gay village of Toronto for 10 years. Anyways, they were fun regardless. They started with my hair, putting it up in rollers for volume, and then moving to makeup, then finishing up to hair. Very important to have a good idea of what you want for hair. This has been my experience my whole life, so I was prepared. I showed him 1 or 2 pictures and explained what I wanted for hair and in all honesty, it came out exactly what I had wanted. I made sure to not be in awe this time, and spoke up at appropriate times, for example, requesting a little bit more volume and height at the top. Regardless, I had zero complaints for the hair, and at the wedding, it was exactly what I wanted.

For make-up, I also made it clear I did not want any pink colours and I liked looking natural. Again, Jessie did not disappoint. He did initially put a orangie pink colour on my lips, but promptly asked for something in a red with blue undertones. In the end we found a perfect lip colour. While I was there, I got a pedicure because I was in desperate need. I completely forgot that in the Philippines, pedicures do not automatically mean a "spa" pedicure, and there was not scrubbing of dead skin. Oh well.

The only major downside with this visit was that I had no idea how much the trial would cost. My coordinator didn't let me know before hand, nor her assistant and neither did any of the staff, until it was winding down that it was time for me to leave. Awkward to have one of his staff be like, "cough, cough, ma'am, did you pay Jessie?" and then to ask him how much it was. Luckily the studio was in the same building as a bank, so we were able to withdraw.

TIP: Always check if there is any cost to anywhere you were going to and be ready

Oh wait, I remembered something else! So I had fake lash extentions installed in Canada, which I loved. Jessie disagreed because they got in the way of the airbrush make up. He told me he hoped they fell off by the time of the wedding (which is apparently an improvement, since Tisha told me he once told another bride to take them off). Anyways, I KNEW you could not put mascara on them, yet did not yell STOP when did it anyways. As soon as I got home, I spent 30 minutes with my eye make-up remover trying to get the mascara off. Although, I thought I did, I didn't realize how difficult it is to get mascara off synthetic lashes, that my eyes became infected. WHAT HORROR, to wake up to itchy eyes and that my eyes, days before the wedding were red. I did drops for a couple days, and then came to the realization what it was, plucked out as much lashes as I could. Luckily after that, my eyes cleared up after 48 hours. On the day of the wedding, I didn't wear contact because of it, so at the reception you could see me with my nerd glasses on at some points.

TIP: Don't be afraid to tell a supplier no, regardless of how big their personality is. Especially if its just a trial!

I also met the Videographer, Joey of Digital Minds, that same day. Initially I was supposed to meet him at Ayala, but because of the time, he was kind enough to meet us at Jessie's studio. He was honestly, the nicest of all the suppliers I met thus far, and had a great attitude on the onset. The only thing I had let him know, was that we wanted this to be a family affair, so to equally include our daughter Isabela. Initially, I had thought I didn't want any "talking" in our Same Day Edit, but didn't let him know this. So he did include a clip of our vows, but it turned out awesome, so I'm glad I had forgotten that.

The rest of the week dealt with little things, so mostly shopping. I ended up buying another pair of shoes (which was the only pair I ended up wearing), Rodney had to buy a belt (which he didn't wear) and shoes for Isabela. We also had to purchase our fans, giveaways, boxes for the giveaways and bags for the welcome packs. Our coordinator took us to the oldest market in Cebu City, that’s known for a high crime rate. It was gangster. We were advised to take off jewellery, and anything expensive people could rip off our faces and ears. It was generally easy, and we found things fairly fast because our coordinator's assistance had done a scope out before hand. We got a fantastic deal for everything! Although, I would never go there without locals.

The only thing that we could not find was parasols. I had wanted parasols to be dug into the sand beside the chairs for people to use to block out the sun. We went to a umbrella place but they only had plastic umbrellas. The nice ones were wwwwaaaayyy to expensive at P500 each and at the amount we needed, I wasn't going to spend $400 worth on umbrellas. My coordinator wasn't sure where to find them, so we kind of decided to just forget it. I know they exist somewhere though, because I did see on Mark, our photographer's blog another wedding at the BE that had them.

The type of parasols I wanted.

Anyways, I sort of regret not persuing it because the day of the wedding was hot as hell. Seriously, it was like the hottest day of the year. Our guests were fanning themselves like crazy, and were using the fans to block out the sun. Maybe I should have discussed this more with my coordinator before leaving, so that I could have just brought from Toronto's Chinatown the ones I wanted.

TIP: stick to your guns when it comes to details that are functional.

I forgot - Our Rings! Tisha had connected us with one of her friends who is a jeweller and met us, actually, at Bernardo Flores' shop while we waited with him. Rodney decided on a little complicated design, that in the end turned out beautifully. I had just wanted a simple band with diamonds. It had to be next morning, or maybe even that night, I texted her and had a different idea of what I wanted for our rings. Again, Linette was so accomodating and met us as soon as she could, at the mall, the next day. She was able to show us the actual diamonds, so we were able to get an idea of size and points and all that jazz as well. I was glad we met up a second time because then I could really firm up what I wanted for the rings. Now the rings are really modest because of our budget, and it pains me when people ask to look at my ring and expect more. I didn't receive an engagment ring because we were already common-law and decided the extra money would go to the wedding itself. Anyways, I love how our rings turned out and how easy it was to work with Tisha's contact. Will probably go to her again in the future, when we come to renew our vows.

Then we had one last day that dealt with venues. Finally we got to visit the Shangri-la. Tisha accompanied us and was gracious enough to pick us up. The Shangri-la is beautiful, no question about it and the service for guests, excellent. However, going to visit for the day for a meeting, means you get followed by people asking if you are a guest. When we finally got the clear that we can be there, we were able to see the grounds and loved it. Did I mention how I regretted not doing an engagement shoot? Because the Shangri-la during the day would have been a perfect location for us.

We were really impressed at our tasting and enjoyed all the food, so were really excited about the food at the wedding. Unfortunately, when dishes are made for 2 people the quality is a lot higher than when they are making in bulk. At the wedding, I was a little disappointed that the food wasn't as mind blowing as it was at the tasting. Also, the food they served us at the tasting, was not the food they plated for us. So I had to ask them for some of the things I tried at the tasting.

TIP: if you are doing a tasting for a buffet, and are going to plated, clarify WHAT you're going to be platted.

We also wanted to taste some of their mixed drinks, but were not able to do that day. They ended up scheduling our drink tasting for the night before the wedding. The drinks were amazing, but we did have some suggestions. Another disappointment, the suggestions we gave the drinks did not come through. In fact, when we ordered the mixed drinks some of them did not have any garnish at all. There was a whole issue with the bar, but I will talk about that when I talk about the reception. So the lead up to the wedding and all the arrangements at the Shangri-la were excelled and we were excited about the reception. I'm sad to say that, if I was to rate different aspects of the wedding, the reception at the Shangri-la was the least up to our expectations.

Tasting the drinks and making recommendations... that didn't materialize at the wedding!



Now the BE resort, was the complete opposite. Everything to do with the wedding ran smooth sailing with the BE, but their treatment of guests is the worst. But on the day of the wedding, the ceremony was perfect and everything ran, generally smoothly as planned. Course I'll get to that in my ceremony talk!
Now the day before the wedding was the last day to do whatever I needed to. Which for me, meant some grooming. We went for some waxing that my coordinator recommended in Ayala because they also did eyebrows. Now, here's another instance when I should have been listening to some signals but I got up on that waxing table and let a 70 year old woman wax my legs and eye brows. It was devestatingly painful and the result were awful. She had to wear what appeared to be jewellers goggles to see the hair! Luckly, I was smart enough to veto waxing some more sensitive areas and went somewhere else.

Now the second location I went for waxing, had a way nicer atmosphere, but again the staff, not as knowledgable. She essentially used 3 different kinds of wax and paper before figuring out what would work for my hair type. And by then, it was already 45 minutes later, and I had calls from the driver, my coordinators assistant and my friends looking for me. So for P800 I got half a brazillian.

TIP: set aside a whole DAY for grooming. Seriously.

Now about the wedding itself....

The Wedding Journey part 1

I am not a blogger. I obviously didn't take the time to update like a good blogger would. Anyways, I am going to attempt to write about the experience to make it up.

The week before we left for the Philippines, I really should have done more prep that needed to be done here. I sort of convinced myself that there wasn't much to do, other than be ready with the money stuff, but in reality, I had to leave early from work to finish packing! I had to make sure all wedding related items were packed, including receipts and contracts. I majorly dropped the ball on the tags for the giveaways and welcome bags that we were printing them on our home printer a few hours before leaving. The printer over heated from the task and we couldn't finish because we wasted so many templates from the printer. I had to ask Camaro to buy a box and do as to print in the Philippines which we couldn't even do. In the end we had to get the printer to do it, but not a tag shape and they did it too large that it looked pixelated. One of the few things at the wedding that didn't turn out as planned.

So tip number one: if traveling be prepared at least a few days in advance with the wedding items to do and pack!

We arrived in Cebu on a Saturday Nov 5, exactly 2 weeks before the wedding. We decided to take the afternoon to relax and met with my coordinator and her husband for dinner around 7.

When we met with her, my daughter immediately let her carry her. Yes, my little one is friendly but also a good judge of character. In the end, she was right and my coordinator was amazing! You really felt like you were with a girlfriend and she seemed so relax about everything that you couldn't possibly freak out.

The next day was an appointment free day, so went to the mall to get groceries and items to put into the welcome bags for the abroad guests. I got everyone one of these tshirts, which they loved!

My girlfriends wearing the shirt in their welcome bags on our day trip to Bohol.

I luckily, tried on a shirt first and then used my size as a reference to pick out everyone's sizes AND I got it right! I also bought at the grocery store peanuts, instant coffee, crackers, cookies, noodle soup on a cup and a can of calamansi juice to include in the bags. Where we and some of the guest stayed was a free water cooler that also dispensed hot water, which made using the coffee and cup a noodles a breeze.

The next day was Eid, an Islamic holiday but it appeared only for people on school and government. Everything else was open so we had an appointment to fit my dress, measure and discuss Rodney's barong, and meet with the photographer.

When I tried on my dress I was in love so sort of in a daze! I was able to discuss correcting the fit for the chest but took it off before really thinking about any tweeks. Tisha spoke to the designer's assistants about deepening the neckline. It was exactly what I was thinking but too in love to say! One of the many times Tisha knew me and what I wanted, that she backed me up!

Isabela and I, at our first fitting. 

R had himself measured and discussed his couture with the designer. He also decided then that he wanted Swarvoski crystals as buttons which I rolled my eyes at, but damn my hubby looked hot in his barong on the wedding day!

Us, with the designer, Bernardo Flores.

Finally, we visited Ayala, one of the bigger malls in Cebu. Prior to arriving, I had read that it was sort of an upper class mall and I thought I would hate it but in all honesty, I got used to it and was there every other day. Anyways we met our photographer for the first time. again, I wasnt really prepared so he showed me some same day edits hes done and asked is about our camera comfort level and that's about it. Looking back now, I really regret not booking an engagement shoot. At the time, I was concerned about the budget but in the end it would have been worth it and the cost minimal.

Phew, what a post.. And that's only after the first couple days in Cebu!

Thank You's

What a big gap from my last post to this one. I have so much to write, and WILL write, but had to wanted to post our Thank You cards we made on Shutterfly. It's one of my wrap up tasks to make it, with the second part to mail it. Anyways, I'm posting up because I actually really like the Shutterfly site, and by posting it up, I will get a $10 credit on my next project. I use their website so often, I will most definitely use it. It's only major downside is that its delivery date for Canada, because it is "International" is entirely inaccurate, and you have to add like another 2 weeks from there (which you only find out by reading the fine print. Anyways, here's the card.

5x7 Folded Card

View the entire collection of cards.

News

Some interesting developments and exciting news.

BOTH of my parents have booked their tickets! Along with aunts, uncle, cousins, my grandpa and very close friends! Hooray!

The wedding guest list is up to 45. SERIOUSLY?!

Turns out my mother saved her cord and veil that she used when she married my dad. And is giving it to me.

:D

DIY - Check and Check!

I've been busy preparing for the wedding. As of today, we fly to the Philippines in 33 days. One of the things I am particularly proud of completing is the Ring Book and the Locket for the bouquet.

First the Ring Book. You may remember from this post, when I first picked up the book. Rather than being a single effort, the book became a team effort, and my two girls C & K put work into it. 

Here is the book closed. I taped up the sides since I painted the title on the spine over in gold. Despite, sensitive wall paint tape, even when I pulled it off, it took some of the cover off. I don't mind so much, I think it adds to the vintage look and feel.

I glued all the pages together so that it can only open to this page. C cut out the square for me, while K cut the felt piece and the ribbon. I did all the painting.

Again, it was the perfect page to choose. Look at all the references on the page!

Next is the locket. Here is the locket I bought from Etsy. It's a vintage piece which you can tell by some of the details.

Next, I scanned and changed the picture of my grandmothers to sepia. The picture on the left is my Grandma Lily, who recently passed away, on her wedding day. My other grandmother didn't have a picture as young, but this is a picture that included my grandfather, when they were still in the Philippines. 

Now, I don't have that many more crafty things to do. Mostly designing and paper things. But these will definitely add to our wedding's uniquness. Hooray!

All the Pretty Details

This weekend I went to a wedding of a friend from University. G, recently transfered to my building for work, so leading up to her wedding we had plenty to talk about! It was a gorgeous wedding overlooking the lake at the Argonaut Rowing Club in Toronto. The traffic was not on anyones side, so the ceremony started an hour late (I was just about crying in the car because I thought I would miss it).

Weddings are wonderful no matter what, but often, its the details that the couple adds that makes it feel like them. When we all sat together for the first time at the table and everyone observed the centerpieces, the giveaway, the menu, another friend from the student union days, said to me..."It's so her, isn't it?". THAT is what every couple strives for. A room full of their loved ones, who can readily identify you in the details. I loved it.

Anyways, for me, the details are for my own sentimental value as well. While going through albums with my Grandma Sol this weekend, looking for a picture of her to include in my locket as well, I was reminded of her and my grandfather's 50th Wedding Anniversary. I was 12 and it was 1995, and I remember loving every bit of it. They renewed their vows in the Church and all the grandchilren were bridesmaids and groomsmen. Then we had a big reception in our community center, where even family from California flew in. My grandpa said it was the happiest day of his life. He passed away, 7 months later. Now that I write this, maybe my family knew he was sick and thats why we had such a big wedding anniversary.

While looking at the pictures, my grandma told me how the dress and the veil came from the Philippines from her sister Ligaya. The veil caught my eye. A mantilla veil. I immediately asked my grandma if she still had it. She said she should and is now tasked at attempting to dig it up. I had originally thought about wearing a bird cage veil, but I may be able to do her veil for the ceremony, and the cage for the reception. Or the other thing I was thinking, was wearing a birdcage veil throughout, and using her veil as part of the cord and veil ceremony. Wouldn't it be lovely regardless? If she finds it, something borrowed, CHECK!

A Million Things To Do AT ONCE

It's been over a month since my grandma died. A week or two weeks ago, as I began wrapping up her affairs, it hit me: THE WEDDING IS FAST APPROACHING. And gawd is it ever. I was in such a hazy because of summer and my grandmother being ill, and then her passing, September slaps you back in the face with a dose of reality. So I've essentially been doing something for the wedding everyday, sometimes while at work. For example in the last 2 weeks I (with Rodney for some things):

• made the seating plan
• designed the ceremony program
• booked tickets for my two cousins
• planned the accomodation
• designed the donation cards
• wrote out my thank you speech (have no idea when Rodney will write something up)
• finalized a program for the reception and began drafting notes for the emcee
• chose a recessional song
• updated the budget
• sent money for the venue
• designed and printed our guestbook
• partially completed the ring book (just need to add the felt for the rings and the ribbon)
• started a list of things to pack and things to buy
• started a list a to do list for the reception, ceremony, trip, in the Philippines and a list of questions for Tisha
• bought luggage
• created a spreadsheet of confirmed guests with flight and accomodation information
• had a meeting with my pseudo-bridesmaids to talk about the Wedding Shower and my highly anticipated Halloween Stagette!
• looked at shoes online.
• looked at hair ideas online.
• found a picture of my other Grandma for the locket and scanned it
• began work on the locket

So there are many more things to do and many more things to decide on. I may just have an ulcer before I go.

Also, I haven't worked out since July! I really want to try and drag my ass today AND do a Jillian Michaels tonight. Man oh man!

tee hee. This picture actually makes me want to stop complaining.

In Memory of Lily

On August 17^th, Luciana Balolong Cendana, my grandmother, died. Grandma Lily had been sick, having a stroke first, while in the Philippines January 2010, and experiencing subsequent strokes after that. Her last stroke occurred in April, and left her unable to speak or move on her right side. She was in two different hospitals, had surgery to have a G-tube inserted, and had to be admitted to a nursing home, where she passed away. Her death has left me with an indescribably painful sense of loss. 

She had always been in my life, and we were close. She took care of me as a baby, even living with us when they first immigrated to Canada. She had a personality, that was more abrupt and keeping it real, than sweet ol' grandma. Even with her badass persona, she was loving, caring, selfless and generous. All she did, was for her grandchildren and children. Even when she died, I learned about her humble desire to take care of her children and her love. In 2010, she pre-arranged her funeral, and began payments on the services. She even purchased her cemetery property, and chose her vault and plaque. All this work meant, when she passed, her family could grieve and not be so stressed. She named me to take care of her affairs, so I had been busy, but it was the best way for me to grieve also. 

As I was putting items together for the slideshow, I found my grandparents wedding picture. Now I have the perfect picture to include the locket I got for my bouquet.

This weekend, I also made the cards that state in memory of my grandmother, a donation was made to the Heart and Stroke Foundation. As well, on October 19th, my cousins and I will be running a 5K raising money for the same organization in her honour. She had a long life, but I wish she could be here for more of mine. It's selfish of me to want her to be around a little bit more, but that's love.

On the Road to the Ring Book

I got off a little early from work, so swung by the Toronto Public Library's used book store where they sell some withdrawn used books. I picked up this beauty for a dollar!

Different from most books, this had a leathery Red cover instead of a typical canvas one. The emblem on the cover has stars and an interesting design.

The spine, has a gold design, but the title in the blue we will be covering up.

The inside cover has an old map of Montreal from what looks like the 17th Century. I thought it was cool since R and I met in Montreal.

Right in the middle of the book, I found a page where two characters talk about being in love and wanting to get married. Perfect page to pick as the ring page!

So now the task is to actually put it together. More updates when that happens!

The feeeet...

After my post on the shooooes, I saw this post of a Filipino wedding on a beach, and the bride and brides maids are barefoot. Looks so nice!

Source

Celebrity Makeup

I want to be prepared when I land in the Philippines and go meet my suppliers and do some trials. Hair is always on a bride's mind at the forefront, but makeup should also be kept in mind. Bridal makeup, is also a whole different animal because there is a daytime element, as well as the night time. So unless I can pull off two different looks (a look for the ceremony, and then a look for the reception - but what would that mean for the pictures in between?), I am going to find looks that I like, that I think will suit me, for both times of day.

The obvious thing to do, would be to look at the makeup on bridal magazines. The next, I wanted to find looks on individuals and celebrities that have the same/similar skin tone and structure. Filipino, doesn't quite into the Asian, as much as people want to believe, so I looked at specifically Filipino women.

My favourite Pinay celebrity, that I love because of her happy personality, and more natural looks (as opposed to the various plastic surgery celebrity pinays - and I don't count her early modeling days with all the coloured contacts, bleh) is Marian Rivera. Here are some looks of her, make-up wise, that I will be showing my makeup artist.

I chose these because of the emphasis on the eyes, especially the upper lids and lashes, that brightens the eyes. Most of these have a more muted lip, but there's one picture with a more pronounced lip that could do the trick for the reception. Note: it was hard finding pics of her make-up'ed, just because she rocks the neutral and natural all the time. But that's also because she gorgeous.

How can you not adore her?

Next is to scan top suppliers of Philippine weddings, including celebrities, to source other looks!

In honour of...

 Part of the reason I've been so swamped and unable to really focus on the wedding is because my grandmother is very sick. In fact, since 2008, both of my grandmothers have suffered from strokes. My grandmother on my mother's side suffered a stroke in 2008. It was days before anyone realized it was something serious and took her to the hospital. At the time, she had lost some of her language ability (especially with her 3rd language, English, and includes reading) and she didn't recognize family members. Her physical ability was not that bad - she could still walk with assistance. Luckily, she spent a month in the rehabilitation hospital, recovered and returned home. She is very active, and all her regular functions have returned. She is 86 years old, but you would think she is only in her early 70s.

My other grandmother however, suffered her first stroke in the Philippines in January 2010. She immediately returned home to receive care. Since then, she has had 3 other strokes. This past April, she suffered a more massive stroke that left her completely paralyzed on her right side, and unable to speak and swallow. After months in the hospital, she did not improve and was returned home. It was crazy because she was paralyzed, it meant she needed assistance in everything : from changing her diapers, to administering medication, feeding through a tube in her stomach, and even changing positions. My grandfather, 84, was the primary caregiver, and after he collapsed with the sheer volume of responsibility, my grandmother was moved to a nursing home by the province. Here, she is rapidly deteriorating, and suffering from dementia.

It has been difficult to watch, and all of the family is constantly thinking about her. However, because of this, our family is closer. My dad side has always been close, and have all helped each other in any way they could. But our ability to communicate with each other has increased, and I was able to connect with my cousins in the Philippines for the first time. My eldest cousin especially, I haven't seen since I was 10 and at her mother's funeral, is so excited about coming to the wedding to be with family. It's a wonderful thing actually.

Anyways, I always knew my grandma would not be able to come to the wedding. Even when she first got sick, and my cousins would say to her, "grandma, get better, so we can all be back in the Philippines for Camille's wedding", I knew she would want it so bad, but wouldn't be able to. Same with my other grandmother. I always knew they wouldn't be able to make it.

An aunt I haven't seen on my mother's side for months, I saw last weekend at a party, and she plopped back down beside me and said, "so you don't want anyone to come to the wedding". I guess referring to the fact it was in the Philippines, and obviously, people like grandma, couldn't go even if they wanted to. But, it's not that we didn't want them there, or didn't care if they weren't. At the time, I honestly thought Rodney and I would be bordering eloping and just going to the Philippines to do it alone. So the thought of the Philippines, and all the magic, seeped in, even as the reality kicked it that we would have guests.

Anyways, the point is, I want my grandmother's there. If not physically, but spiritually, and most importantly in my heart. In honour of my grandmothers and of our wedding, Rodney and I recently gave some money to the Heart and Stroke Foundation. In addition, on my bouquet I hope to be carrying a picture of each of my grandmother's in a locket. If I could find it, I want to find a picture in black and white when they are young, when things like strokes were so far away from their minds.

So I've narrowed down to these ones on Etsy:

 

Source

 Source

 

Source

Source

Source

Source

Source

I'm so torn!!! These are all less than $25 a pop, and from the U.S., so I MAY even get two, one for each grandma, and then include an older and a more recent pic. Decisions, decisions!

Shoooes

Now that my wedding dress design is down, one of the things I started thinking about is shoes. Listen, I'm Filipino, so I enjoy shoes. However, since experiencing the joys of pregnancy, my feet have started to run a little wide (when they were already kinda wide). I also don't wear heals as much as I used to, mainly because there's alot of walking and running after a toddler, that I just can't be fast or comfortable enough in heals.

Due to the Beach Wedding location, I originally thought it would make sense if I was sporting some flip flops. But I'm not a very tall lady, and I KNOW the slimming effects heals do for you. So I thought maybe the perfect solutions is: The Wedge.

When I was 12 years old and a budding shoe fanatic, one of the first mainstream shoe designers I liked was Steve Madden. Many of my early shoe loves were Maddens. I recently revisited this love affair, and am in love with another pair of patterned wedges. Not only do they make me look super Hot, but they are also really comfortable. I've worn them the whole day at work without needing to change, as well as during a night out dancing. So I am sure I can achieve the comfort and hawtness I need with a pair of Madden wedges.

Every detail is a little significant, so I think picking shoes that I feel are me and my history, should be included, right?

A quick look at their website, are currently showing these beauties. But which to pick?!

These are on sale right now!.. and also come in a silvery glitter!

I really like the peak-a-boo toe and bow, maybe the knotted rope look would go with the down-to-earth theme?

Less than $50!

Now to find a lady to come with me to look at shoes!

The Updateless Update

Can it be? I haven't updated it a month. Well, to be fair, the last month has been so insane. I can't even describe how over exerted I was that my own wedding was on the back burner. Isn't that wrong? I was so busy (and on the verge of a breakdown), that I had to bow out of a 50th Birthday Party I was helping plan. I hate letting go of responsibility! There's also been a lot of family drama - some related to the wedding, some with my rapidly deteriorating grandmother - that hasn't quite let up, that’s also like a heavy weight on my shoulders.

The only real update is that R actually went out and got a book for our wedding book. More like, he found a vintage book and decide to bring it home, and it meets the minimum requirements. I may actually start to put it together this weekend, but I kinda was hoping for a more decorative book. The cover is all black and has gold writing, but that's going to be covered with gold anyways. I don't want to diminish his effort and initiative to find a book, but I think we can do a little better.

I also got a final sketch from my dress designer of the dress. It also is within my budget, so happy me! I'm excited to get more info on it.

Other than that, so little has happened on the wedding planning front. July has been dubbed Get Back On Track Month, so hopefully I'll have the strength to re-evaluate and re-focus. I gotta get back on the diet and working out (I gained 5lbs!), and focus on getting the wedding plans in order.

Some Attestations:
I'm going to try and not stress about the looming wedding financials.
I am going to talk through all ideas with R.
I am going to get R to check off the things on his list that is impeding my list.
I am not going to let any mean comments about me, R or the wedding stop me from being happy.
I am going to be more happy.

Attempting the Details

Sometimes I wonder if by posting things about the wedding, I'm diminishing the surprise element? What do you think?

I love discussing it, and don’t have someone with me all the time to hear me ramble about my wedding plans. If I did, gawd, poor them! I feel like only other brides can really deal with your wedding ramble, and its only out of respect because you'll listen to theirs. Also, maybe it will be a source of ideas for some bride bouncing around the internet and reading other bridal blogs.

On the one hand, I feel like I'm getting rid of the element of surprise. But then again, I have 20 people attending my ceremony, who most, don’t even read this blog. So they're still going to be somewhat surprised, and those who can't make, it can bask in my vision.

Ceremony spoiler alert, for those that want to be surprised!

The ceremony is really coming together. We've so far started to paint the picture of what we want the scene to look like by discussing the type of arch, chairs and bench we want. We've booked a violinist. We've discussed an officiant, who hasn't been booked, but we could probably do that soon enoough. I've started an outline of the actual ceremony (more on that later) and asked one of my good friends of mine to help put the ceremony together…since he's very progressive and very well connected with his progressive Church, he'll be able to contribute in a big way. Now for some smaller ceremony and décor details.

We don't have any cute little boys to play ring bearer, so likely someone else will be bringing the rings. We decided to add to our ceremony a Ring Warming Ceremony, where we will pass our rings around at the beginning of the ceremony so that our guests can say a little prayer or blessing for us. We're so lucky that a few people will be making the trip to our wedding, and we want to include them in the ceremony.

But rings are small, and we're going to be on sand, so we want it to be attached to something someone can keep an eye on, and can't be dropped very easily. So we thought of the Ring Book. Rather than having a little tacky pillow cushion, we are going to use a book with a secret compartment that will hold the rings.

source

Off weddingbee.com, I found this great tutorial on how to make one. Martha Stewart's got one too, but I'm going to support the non-corporate-brand of making a Ring Bearer Book. I really like the vintage feel of the ring book here.

Source

R loves the idea, but we were also thinking of making the book significant too. We came up with Carlos Bulosan's America Is In The Heart. A well written, honest bibliographical account of struggle of migrants in agricultural work in the U.S. during the 1930s. He also talks about labor politics and the attacks on unionists. He describes horrific discrimination, starvation and ultimate struggle. Anyways, its our kinda story.

Unfortunately, we'll have to cut up the book to make the Ring Book. But we were hoping that we would stop and highlight a really deep thought provoking line, that people will see when they open it to see our rings. Even more unfortunate, is our inability to find a copy of this book in Hardcopy. Honestly, no one sells it or appears to have ever published it. I looked online at Amazon, and some other places, but also scowered Kijiji and Ebay to see if someone internationally wants to part with it…. For under $40.

So, our options is are (in order of easiest, to hardest, which also happens to be worst to best case scenario)
- find another generic book that has absolutely no significance but is pretty.
- look for a book binder who can magically make a paperback to a hardcover. (As I wrote, this I googled a bookbinder in Toronto, called them and found out that they can do it - after checking the book first - but it cost $60, and they cannot emboss images, just text. So in addition to actually buying the book $20, we're looking at almost $100 to destroy the book)
- look through my contacts to find that business card of Carlos Bulosan's editor who I met in 2007. Maybe he has an extra hard copy he can sell me?

The last option would be to figure out how to make this a paperback into a hardcopy. I'm sure someone crafty can help me with this…
Ugh. Gotta figure out our options with this one!

A little bit of Bridal Crazy

More often than what maybe is healthy, I think about what I'd do if I won the lottery. Not big sometimes, like, if we won an extra $5,000 or $20,000 in the work pool, and today I thought about $100,000. I'd put half of it towards a downpayment on a house, and put 25k in savings, then add 25k to our wedding budget. With that extra 25k, I'd pay for everyones accommodation and some flights for some family and friends who can't make it because of that cost. I'd probably add a little extra to my dress. Then probably spend $5k on Rodney's family home, and another $5k supporting organizations in the Philippines. Maybe donating the full 5k to a hospital?

Should money occupy the thoughts of the bride, a mother, or any woman like this? I don't feel like its abonormal, but its something on my mind a lot lately. I guess because the wedding/trip budget has explanded a good $7,000? Maybe due to the realization that not my parents, nor his parents would contribute at all to the wedding, out of sheer not wanting to.

When my aunts were over from the U.S., we had this really fun night out at a Café, where we all got yummy desserts and drinks, and great conversation that you can only have with family, as you laugh about your own disfunctionalities. Anyways, I didn't realize the type of misconceptions my family has about me. (Actually, it hurts a little to think that my family might think of me a certain way) I guess because my parents appear to have money, and manage their money well, they assume my parents help us out with money. I clarified that, no they did not give us that Jeep, I paid money from my savings to buy it off them and only because I hated taking the bus with the baby with groceries. I clarified, that yes, I worked part-time throughout university, because I didn't have an allowance. And yes, I drained my savings to pay my mother rent during the first and second year. I guess, everyone had this illusion that I was some spoiled brat that was being kept a float by my parents. When it’s the complete opposite - I did it all by myself and really, I get no credit for doing things on my own.

Yes, we currently live in their property, but we still pay rent that covers all the expenses. So the only thing, is that they're not making any additional income, since the property is already paid for, and we're living in it. Maybe people think that our wedding in the Philippines is getting help from our parents, too. Doesn't the bridal family typically pay for at least a portion of the wedding? (As an aside, my parents did offer to give us only $10K IF we got married in Toronto only. I said no to the conditions, as well as the amount that wouldn't even scratch the surface of a wedding here. His parents offered us 100k PESOS, or about $2K. They have since changed their mind.. for no reason.)

Thinking back to this night with my aunts, one of them invited me to the U.S. for my younger cousins graduation party. We went on to talk about typical celebrations that are to occur - debut, graduation party, wedding. When I was 18, my parents didn't give me a debut because they said they would give me a car. I never got the car, but was allowed to live in the condo where we live now when I went to University, as a consolation. (But they would have to pay for my residence fee if I didn't live there, but that's just a side thought). They never celebrated my graduation from University and my honours degree from one of the best and most challenging school's in Canada. I don't remember getting a party for High School either because our graduation was in September, and awkward time of year, and my dad was away in Mexico. Despite coming out of highschool with awards and scholarships. And now the wedding. No celebrating that either from my parents.

The only way we can live our life and have the wedding we want, is to do it ourselves. I don't receive a monthly income, or even gifts from family to help us. We work hard, try to budget and manage our money, and work a lot of overtime to make this dream a reality for us. I wake up at 6:00am and wait in line at the library to get a free pass to the Zoo and other museums, so that we can save some money but still enrich our daughter's experiences. I guess its easy to blame your crazy on your parents, but really, isn't it the case with my money preoccupation? Or maybe they're just crazy, and they don't really want to celebrate their oldest and only daughter. Maybe that's not crazy then. Maybe that's just mean.

Freak outs and accommodation basics.

It's been a month since my last post, and longer than that on anything really to do with planning the wedding. My WP was MIA for a good minute, and then I became enthralled in planning for my I's 3rd birthday. I guess that is the major downside with planning a wedding from abroad, you can only go do as much as your coordinator will let you. I can only think of ideas, come up with concepts, and outlines, but in the end, I need her for the nitty gritty. So when there's a little gap, you gotta just wait it out. Which has caused me some anxiety, and every time I come to this blog or my wedding website, I feel like I should delete the counters. 6 months and 1 day to go?!.. 185 days until my wedding? DEAR GAWD! ... because then I start thinking, I have even less time because I actually leave for the Philippines 15 days before my wedding! AHHHHH! (insert image of breakdown here). So I'm trying to not be stressed out, but I think when I'm chatting with my coordinator its coming off as cold. Well, I feel cold, when I re-read our convos so I can make a summary. (Yes, I do that. Can you imagine what I was like in University? O.C.D.!)

So the major hurdle at the moment is accommodation. Let me tell you, I'm ecstatic that this is a concern, because this means, I have people that are COMING to the wedding. Seriously! Two of my girls from uni are coming and let me tell you, I was trying to be calm when in reality, I am jumping for joy! My aunt and uncle from California, ALSO coming!.. (and they also made sure to tell my parents to their face they were coming, and threw in, itstheirweddingnotyours). Love it!

Anyways, I looked up vacation rentals, as well as different rates for places, but of course I needed to talk to my WP. She gave me a quote from the BE that is alot more than what I've seen, so she's going to go back and get that lower, if possible. She also mentioned something called Pension Houses. I have never heard of this term in my life! When I looked around at some research, it looks like its just another hotel without any frills. Some stoop to the sleeze of what we know as a Motel, but some don't really.Of course, this got me thinking into class. Maybe they created these Pension Houses to clearly draw class lines. Is this where the middle class stay?

So I have a few that I thought looked nice, that I will get her opinion on. Actually, my homie's girlfriend is in Cebu, so maybe I'll ask her opinion as well. I haven't met her yet, but she's there so I feel like I don't want to overwhelm her with questions. But I desperately need the help of locals.

I'm feeling more like bride self, so hopefully, I'll have more to blog about. Will definitely have more to report on accommodation as I narrow some options. Stay tuned!

New Buddy

English is my first language, while French is close behind. In fact, for me to progress in my career, I need to ramp up my French and get an Advanced level (I have an Intermediate level now). So with that in mind, I joined a "Lunch and Learn" session at my work, where once a week for 8 weeks I meet up with other people who are looking to improve their French and have a casual conversational class. Today was my first class, and low and behold there is another lady there who is Filipino...or maybe she is mixed but she said, "ma famille maternelle est Filipino". Anyways, another interesting fact about her is that she got married in Cebu two years ago! Oh Em Gee!! So now I have a new friend, I'm going to chat wedding in Cebu about! Horray!

Isn't the world a tiny place?
C'est formidable!

A break !

Dad's coming. WOO!

"No point in fighting with you now".

Invites (almost) done!

There are times that I really wish my MOH was in town. My MOH is my best friend and she is away doing her masters. Anyways, putting these things together makes me really wish she was here because I just needed the help. I don't have regular girlfriends in my life that I see all the time, that a day putting these together would have been fine. I see my closest girlfriends, once or twice a month, and we have a nice dinner and talk because we have so much to catch up on. Anyways, it would have been nice to have had some help. I guess that's why R has been pitching in so much to finish these:

First thing in the morning, still wearing his pag-bahay, cutting.

First a shot of the expensive decorative paper:

Oh la la.

And la piece de la resistance, a completed set!

And here are the rest of the pieces also:

I also made mailing and address labels for the chocolate envelopes...but I didn't take a picture yet. Anyways, now to put the rest together!

Ding! Another Idea.

Yesterday, we registered at The Bay. We figured, that maybe some people who couldn't come to our wedding may still want to give us a gift instead. It was a little bit grueling because the "Consultant" asked questions like...how many people are coming to your wedding? (um, 50? I wish) How many to your shower? (I'm not planning a shower, so I lied) Do you think you will want stainless steel or black appliances? (Seriously?) Anyways, 30 minutes in, both Isabela and Rodney were dead and ready to go. Rodney said, "Camille, this is like shopping. And you know how I feel about shopping."

So the best thing, is that they gave me a couple Wedding mags for free. I kind of have a lot already, but I like going through ideas and looking at pictures for inspiration. And what do you know, back at home while sitting on the couch looking through magazines, I had a eureka moment for our giveaways.

Since our wedding is close to Christmas, we thought about giving our guests a tiny parol as an ornament! A Parol is a star lantern that is adorned during the Christmas holiday. It is found only in the Philippines, so a truly Filipino tradition, which fits perfectly with our Filipinana theme. Usually wedding favours are tiny things people eat (I've gotten chocolates, and even tea bags), or some other "gift" (I've seen paper fans, rock magnets, and miniture angels). Sometimes the gifts are bordering useless, but with this as an ornament, this can be kept year after year, and our wedding will be reminded every holiday season. Great right? Now, just to talk this over with the WC (Wedding Coordinator) and find some in the Phils. Best case scenario would be ones with a nice pearly sheen made out of a shell. Man, I love it.

And isn't it just us, to have a STAR?!

Wandering Minds...New Ideas?

The invitations are taking a little longer to put together. I guess, because there's so many detailed steps:
- print the invitations
- cut the invitations
- round the corners of the invitations, decorative paper and back layer
- print the note card
- cut the note card
- cut the note card back layer
- round the corners of the note and the back layer
- glue the decorative paper to the back layer
- glue the invitation
- glue the note card to its back layer
- print the address labels
- attach to the envelopes
- punch the belly band attachment
- take the band photo
- print the belly band photo
- cut the photo
- cut the ribbon
- create the belly band

Some things that I didn't cross out are half done, but the majority... isn't. I'm home from work today because I had some minor surgery, and had planned to do some of the work, however, I underestimated how much roller adhesive I needed. I bought 1 with 4 refills, and used it all on attaching the decorative paper to the back layer. I did do about 15 complete invitations - attaching the invitation to the decorative and back layer, but I do not have enough roller to do any more. So we will have to wait until Sunday, when I can go visit Michael's, again.


Anyways, without much to do or anyone to discuss the wedding with, I found a website called Best Wedding Destination and have been looking at the forum for DIY ideas, and reading some other people's threads. One of the threads I found talked about centre pieces, and although I had some ideas on what I wanted to do, I'm thinking of something else now.

This is what I was thinking at first:

A mix of white and green flowers, likely something native to the Philippines like the Sampaguita and Dama de Noche.

With the flowers, some interesting wood pieces and candles, to highlight the browns and native crafts.

And this is what I am thinking of adding this large palm center piece:

Or maybe...I can do some tables the large tall centre piece, while others with short? So I guess, because I'm in a place where I can't do much, than my mind is wandering and thinking of some new ideas. Wonder what R will thing?