A little bit of Bridal Crazy

More often than what maybe is healthy, I think about what I'd do if I won the lottery. Not big sometimes, like, if we won an extra $5,000 or $20,000 in the work pool, and today I thought about $100,000. I'd put half of it towards a downpayment on a house, and put 25k in savings, then add 25k to our wedding budget. With that extra 25k, I'd pay for everyones accommodation and some flights for some family and friends who can't make it because of that cost. I'd probably add a little extra to my dress. Then probably spend $5k on Rodney's family home, and another $5k supporting organizations in the Philippines. Maybe donating the full 5k to a hospital?

Should money occupy the thoughts of the bride, a mother, or any woman like this? I don't feel like its abonormal, but its something on my mind a lot lately. I guess because the wedding/trip budget has explanded a good $7,000? Maybe due to the realization that not my parents, nor his parents would contribute at all to the wedding, out of sheer not wanting to.

When my aunts were over from the U.S., we had this really fun night out at a Café, where we all got yummy desserts and drinks, and great conversation that you can only have with family, as you laugh about your own disfunctionalities. Anyways, I didn't realize the type of misconceptions my family has about me. (Actually, it hurts a little to think that my family might think of me a certain way) I guess because my parents appear to have money, and manage their money well, they assume my parents help us out with money. I clarified that, no they did not give us that Jeep, I paid money from my savings to buy it off them and only because I hated taking the bus with the baby with groceries. I clarified, that yes, I worked part-time throughout university, because I didn't have an allowance. And yes, I drained my savings to pay my mother rent during the first and second year. I guess, everyone had this illusion that I was some spoiled brat that was being kept a float by my parents. When it’s the complete opposite - I did it all by myself and really, I get no credit for doing things on my own.

Yes, we currently live in their property, but we still pay rent that covers all the expenses. So the only thing, is that they're not making any additional income, since the property is already paid for, and we're living in it. Maybe people think that our wedding in the Philippines is getting help from our parents, too. Doesn't the bridal family typically pay for at least a portion of the wedding? (As an aside, my parents did offer to give us only $10K IF we got married in Toronto only. I said no to the conditions, as well as the amount that wouldn't even scratch the surface of a wedding here. His parents offered us 100k PESOS, or about $2K. They have since changed their mind.. for no reason.)

Thinking back to this night with my aunts, one of them invited me to the U.S. for my younger cousins graduation party. We went on to talk about typical celebrations that are to occur - debut, graduation party, wedding. When I was 18, my parents didn't give me a debut because they said they would give me a car. I never got the car, but was allowed to live in the condo where we live now when I went to University, as a consolation. (But they would have to pay for my residence fee if I didn't live there, but that's just a side thought). They never celebrated my graduation from University and my honours degree from one of the best and most challenging school's in Canada. I don't remember getting a party for High School either because our graduation was in September, and awkward time of year, and my dad was away in Mexico. Despite coming out of highschool with awards and scholarships. And now the wedding. No celebrating that either from my parents.

The only way we can live our life and have the wedding we want, is to do it ourselves. I don't receive a monthly income, or even gifts from family to help us. We work hard, try to budget and manage our money, and work a lot of overtime to make this dream a reality for us. I wake up at 6:00am and wait in line at the library to get a free pass to the Zoo and other museums, so that we can save some money but still enrich our daughter's experiences. I guess its easy to blame your crazy on your parents, but really, isn't it the case with my money preoccupation? Or maybe they're just crazy, and they don't really want to celebrate their oldest and only daughter. Maybe that's not crazy then. Maybe that's just mean.

Deposits and Payments ..from abroad

An issue that will come up again and again is remitting money to pay for deposits from abroad. A best case scenario would have been for me to dump thousands of dollars to a super trust worthy relative, pay one fee, and they would do domestic transfering and such for me. Alas, as with everything, that best case scenario doesn't exist, and although I would love to trust my coordinator with something like that, I'm too scared - and not financially secured, so likely I will be remiting money as it comes along.

I have started my research, since I need to send my deposit to Tisha. I'll update with another post when I actually do it.

Note: Obviously, people who do this on a regular business or OFW's who are trained by the Philippine government on leaving, probably have way more knowledge on this. So anyways, this is what a single Canadian-born Filipino girl researched, all by her lonesome.

There are essentially two ways (to my knowledge) to remittance - a bank wire transfer or a "door-to-door". A bank wire transfer is whern they will wire money into a bank account, or wire from your account to the receivers account. A "door-to-door" service is where they will litterally send the money to the person's doorstep in cash. I am guessing this is a wonderful service for more rural families who are receiving money.

Here is some information from my initial research:

One of the "Big Five" Canadian Banks:
I do not officially bank with one of the big five full service banks because I don't feel the fees and restrictions is worth it, frankly. I bank with a basic financial institution that is well known in Canada, but does not have actual full service banks. I do most of my banking online and it offers a comprehensive chequing, saving and the GIC and loan basics. Anyways, because its a basic bank they do not do account to account international wire transfers.

If however you do have a bank account with one of the Big Five in Canada- Royal Bank, Bank of Montreal, TD Canada Trust, Scotiabank or CIBC - you could inquire regarding their international rates. I walked into CIBC just to feel it out, and they let me know you must have an account with CIBC and their rates begin generally at $30.00 for a wire transfer into an international bank account. They did also mention it depends on the amount remitting. You'd have to discuss further and have more details because there are other restrictions and may be some other fees.

MoneyGram:
Their website has a nice calculator for their services. Depending on the service you use, the fees vary, but for me from Toronto to Philippines the fee was $17.84 for their Account Depost SMARTMONEY service and $25.00 for their 10 Minute Service. Unfortunately, their website doesn't explain what these services actually are, for you to make a decision. They also note "In addition to the transfer fees applicable to a transaction, a currency exchange rate set by MoneyGram or its agents may be applied. Prices subject to change.", so it may be more.

Western Union:
Very similar to MoneyGram but they have the ability of doing a transaction completely online without the use of their agents. I do remember seeing ads for this new service as being 24/7 and therefore more accessible...well according to them. From my understanding, you need to use a credit card to do it online, and it is not deposit of cash. Unfortunately to use this agentless service will cost you, with the fee (for me) at $29.04. To use a Western Union agent the fee was $20.33. Note, they also have a similar disclaimer in terms of additional fees:

Payments will generally be in local currency (except that in certain countries payment may be in U.S. dollars or other alternate currency at participating locations). In addition to the transfer fees applicable to this transaction, a currency exchange rate will be applied. Local currency is converted into the payout currency at an exchange rate set by Western Union. Any difference between the rate given to Customers and the rate received by Western Union will be kept by Western Union (and its Agents in some cases) in addition to the transfer fees. Please ask a customer service representative for information concerning the currency exchange rate applicable to your transaction.

Remittance Agency:
According to Statistics Canada's latest Census, in Canada Filipinos are the 4th largest visible minority group and one of the top source countries for immigrants to Canada. These statistics don't even speak to those not reported, such as Temporary Foreign Workers and Live-in Caregivers. From my personal and professional experience, this adds to the Filipino population but also drives some characteristics of the community. For example is the number of different remittance agencies in Canada that fulfill the need created by current or former OFW's in Canada.

PNB Remittance is the global remittance branch of the Philippine National Bank. I've seen them throughout Toronto's "Filipino" neighborhoods (there are few of these compared to other communities, but I could go on about that later). I reviewed their website and as I suspected, its not very informative. What I think is their fee schedule, shows fees based on the amount of money you are sending. Despite a website with a lot Canadian info, the amounts are in USD. For $499-1000USD for example, the fee is around $20USD.

I checked out the website of one of the bigger ones in Canada, iRemit. Their fees are less than the options described above. Door-to-door and bank-to-bank costs $10 if sending to Metro Manila, while $12 everywhere else in the Philippines. They also have a "iRemit visa" service where you can send your recipient a "visa card" but you load it with money, and they can use it like a debit card around the Philippines.

Close to my work is Mabini Express, that I did a walk in on my lunch break. Their door-to-door fees are $8 for everywhere in the Philippines, but their bank-to-bank fee is $12 and they work with "most" banks in the Philippines. You'll have to inquire with them for specifics, but the bank I needed to deposit my coordinator's deposit, they work with.

Conclusion: There are a lot of options out there, and I'm glad I did some initial research. I didn't realize how much the fees varied and the types of services out there. If you have any first generation family, recent immigrants or recent arrivals from the Philippines, I would suggest asking them and finding out their experience. I don't have that luxury, so am figuring this out on my own. I will likely go with iRemit or Mabini Express for this time around for a direct bank-to-bank deposit. Mabini for door-to-door situations in the future. I am not sure what would be the difference to choose one of the other options with higher fees. Maybe some people are concerned about reliability and the possibility of fraud or scams, but like I said these other agencies have a history and service thousands in Canada daily. If it was a new smaller company, I would have reservations. Obviously because of these fees, I am going to have to add a little bit more to my budget to deal with them and also have a plan on how to pay the vendors when I arrive.

Note: the Shangri-la takes credit card. No fuss no muss. Nice right?