Wedding Dress Ideas - How would a Balikbayan do it?

I am dying to talk about my wedding dress with the wedding planner. The reason I would like to speak to her is because I would like my dress made, but am wondering if it would be possible to do given the distance. The reason I want my dress made, is not only the fit and the uniqueness but I really want something made out of Pina fabric.

Pina fiber is the ingenious fabric derived from the leaves of the Spanish Red Pineapple. and is the finest of all Philippine hand-woven fabrics. Pineapple fibers are an ivory-white color and naturally glossy. This delicate and dreamy cloth is translucent, soft and fine with a high luster.
Since piña fabric is hand loomed by only a few weavers, it is very precious and scarce, which also makes it expensive. The major end use of Pina fiber is the Barong Tagalong, wedding dresses and other traditional Philippine formal dress. Source

There is also another significant side to the fabric. During Spanish colonization, it was forbidden the natives wore imported fabrics and the barong tagalog (often made with Pina) was to be sheer to prevent the concealment of weapons. So not only is it a fabric born out of a rebellious nature to still be finely dressed without imported fabrics, it was made by and for Filipinos. It also touches on my environmental desire as it is an organic and sustainable fabric. Finally, I would want to support this industry and its art form, to encourage
job growth and opportunities in the Philippines.

Weaving and embroidery jobs enable women, especially, to earn salaries that allow them to be home rather than being forced to travel abroad to become domestic workers. Source

The source just had to drop the domestic bomb. For the last 4 years, I come across Live-in Caregivers (what OFW in domestic work is called in Canada because of the Federal program that brings them here), every single day. In my volunteer work, in my job, on the street. There is a better life for the kababaihan than this.

I already talked about why we wanted to get married in the Philippines. The Philippines just means so much to us. So to have a gown made of Pina silk or at least have some Pina elements, it would be so significant to me. We are also thinking of a modern Filipinana theme, so it would just tie everything together.

I have so far narrowed down that I want a heart top, and a very flowy dress. I also would like an off-white (like the Pina colour!).

I've been googling around to copy pictures of what I am interested in, but a good resource my bff suggested is the Kleinfeld Bridal website. There you can choose what you're interested in and will show you different dresses based on your selection. Very easy if you know what you want or don't want. This is also what I learned what I wanted was called. Apparently my "heart top" is called a Sweetheart Neckline, and my "flowy dress" is called a Sheath Silhouette. I'd also be interested in an A-line silhouette too but not too...big.

I found this today (on the Kleinfeld site), and it is essentially what I am looking for:

Where you see those flowers(?), if its made with pina, there would probably be more handwoven embroidery. Or maybe the pina will be in the flowy waist part, and something more structured and tight on top? Or the other way around?

Here is another dress that I love the bottom, and I think this is also what a pina dress could look like:

I think I'd bring the bottom up a little bit though. My coworker just returned from the Dominican where she said she was a beach ceremony take place everyday. She noted though that the bottom of the dresses would get wet and sand would stick to it, cause it to get heavy and hella dirty. Plus, if our dream is the beach, why would I wear heels. I am going to wear flipflops probably (or some sort of flat sandal) so will need it to be at my height flat footed.

So back to my initial dilema. Is it possible? Here are some scenarios:

Best case: I can be measured here, the coordinator knows a good designer who will work with me the next few months with designs and the coordinator will purchase the fabric. I can be fitted the second I arrive in the Philippines, and hopefully 2 weeks before the wedding is enough time for alterations. The universe has no quams with my wedding dress desires.

Ok: Have someone here make me a dress, have people I know going to the Philippines buy me Pina fabric for it.
Downside is that I only know one person who can make beautiful wedding dresses, and shes in Vancouver. And yes, she's made a dress with Pina. But its just as much as a stretch as in the Philippines, and she never comes to Toronto, and I'd have to go to Vancouver just for her.

If I have to: Will buy something decent off the rack in Toronto and bring it with me. I'm just worried about the cost.

Scary: Buy a dress online. It's alot cheaper but scary! Another scary option is if I can't have it made, and decide to get something off the rack in the Philippines and try and have it altered while I am there.

I will update when I finally figure it out. I am sure this is something any Balikbayan bride will want to figure out.

More Venue Debates!

I finally signed the contract today and sent it over to Tisha! Eek.
Now to figure out how I'm going to get the downpayment to her... but that's a whole other post on international wire transfers, remitting, etc. Now that I think about it, I should probably get on that, because Balikbayan brides are going to have to figure that out!

So Tisha, gave me a few ideas off the top of her head to add to the venue debate.

First is Abaca resort, which is actually also beside BE Resort that I had blogged about before. I had checked out the website of this resort before and sort of ruled it out because there was no beach, at least from the pics, and if a resort is not promoting their beach, what are they promoting? Well this one is also promoting its style and sheer architectural beauty. I also had ruled it out because it was expensive, so I thought out of my range. Tisha said they do have a great restaurant space, that for an intimate reception would be all ours. So I put it back on the radar for the reception at the very least.

She also suggested one of the private islands that are part of Maribago. I did mention that Maribago was an option I had thought of, but she brought up the option of this private island. I loved the idea, except that she mentioned we'd have to take a raft to get to it, and if its in low tide, you have just walk across the water because its too low for a boat to go across. Um. Kinda wack for everyone.  So I'm not really considering that.

Maybe I'm not as good at communicating what we're looking for as I thought, so I just left Tisha know that we want some where with a beach for a ceremony, and good FILIPINO food for the reception. I also mentioned that maybe she has to propose places that are ok with us getting catering, if we decide to not go with their menu. That might not work out with all locations.

Balikbayan Wedding Tip#1:

Clarify everything that you want in a venue. What is a deal breaker, what is flexible? You have to think of these details through! 

 

Not Quite Perfect

In a previous post I talked about how everything seemed to forming nicely.. in my mind. The dream was that, we would have a wedding on the beach front and the reception at the Ocean Pavilion at the Shangri-la in Cebu.

Unfortunately, I got an email from the coordinator at the Shangri-la that told me that they don't do wedding on the beach. Something along the lines that their beach closes early and anyone in a bikini can walk through our ceremony.

UGGGGGHHHHH! I was so down in the dumps after reading that email. The beach ceremony is the thing we will not compromise on the wedding. Something tiny and intimate is what we wanted on the beach. Like this:

Anyways, so after a day of being down in the dumps, I started emailing other locations to get some ideas. Of course I let my potential planner in on it, so maybe, even before we sign anything she can think about how to make this happen.

Here are some ideas:

1. Ceremony and Venue at a different location. I got some quotes from other resorts in Cebu. So far, the ones that are the most reasonable (priced and looking) include: Maribago Bluewater  and the Hilton.

They both seem to be able to do a beach front ceremony. Maribago and Hilton also does a beach front ceremony, but from the Hilton I actual requested a quote for their restaurant as a reception venue:

I wanted something indoor/outdoor, like the Ocean Pavilion, and in case of rain. The both major downside in both of these locations is the food! Do people really NOT want Filipino food in the Philippines? Its a European menu and that's exactly the opposite of what we want. So we'll have to work around trying to get a caterer if we do it here too. I haven't even asked if THAT's possible. And that is something we're also not flexible on. Note: Shangri-La DOES have a very yummy sounding Filipino buffet menu.

Also, Regina did not speak highly of the Hilton. I can understand by looking even their pictures. It looks like it needs some renos and redecorating. The rooms are nice but is it classy enough for a wedding.

The other option, which I hope is super possible is:

2. Beach Ceremony at a different location, Reception back at the Shangri-la.

I was thinking that maybe we could the beach ceremony at the Microtel that Regina had talked about in her blog. It is a few kilometers from the Shangri-la, is newly built, has a beach front and the accommodations is affordable at the equivalent to about $65CDN/night. We were actually following Regina's lead and going to have our Out Of Towners (i.e. all of our guests) stay here, so to have the ceremony here would make it so easy for everyone! Check out her blog for her personal pictures of the place, its perfect.

Do I really need to explain why a reception at the Shangri-la will still be perfect?

1. No bad reviews of service or location.

2. Amazing Filipino buffet offering.

3. Beautiful location. The Ocean Pavilion is an indoor location that can spill outdoor, giving us the freedom of both, but also a backup indoor location that will work if the weather does not cooperate.

4. Somewhat affordable.

So lets hope we can work something out so that this works, because frankly, I don't know what to do if it doesn't!

The Wedding Planner

In my last post I mentioned I had emailed potential coordinators and was awaiting a response. I had emailed on a Thursday, so I was allowing most coordinators to get back to me by Monday morning EST (or Monday night in the Philippines) to get back to me. That's pretty reasonable.

I got this list from Regina, and did some initial googling to narrow my list down too. Looking at photographer's sites and catching the coordinators name was pretty helpful at getting a feel of an planner's style. It was also important for me to email the coordinators to get an idea of response time. I also was sneaky and put my personal email (I emailed from work) in the cc, to see who would reply all, and would notice.

Coming into work Monday morning, I was anxious to see what responses I would get. To my surprise, only one planner email was awaiting me on Monday. It was from Tisha of Bliss Unlimited, my first choice. It was a good intro email that was detailed, and her quote documents attached and she did click the reply all! I was excited to hear back from her and replied to her email right away, and my next response from her was Tuesday at 10am (10pm in the Philippines!). By Tuesday, I did get another email from another planner, but it was sort of unprofessional and not inviting, with no quotes or details. Tisha also mentioned that she had abroad clients before and has a Skype strategy. And like I mentioned before, I was hoping Tisha would pass my test because I had already read her blog and felt as if I knew her. 

Anyways, I passed the contract to Rodney to review. I can't make big decisions without him, what kinda precedence would that set in our relationship! But, I doubt he's going to have a problem with it. 

All ready to go!

I'm at an official starting point where I'm ready to just jump into the wedding planning. So I emailed the Shangri-La Cebu, where I have come to the conclusion I want. Yes, the SHANGRI-LA.

I came to this conclusion for a few reasons. First, I was scouting over the internet different resorts, trying to find something less... grand, in other words, less expensive. I would find places, think maybe it was ok, and then would read a few reviews of people complaining of service, inability to swim in the beach waters, peeling paint, etc. I didn't want to fly, or have people I knew fly, half way around the world for something that people would not feel comfortable in. But no one ever once crticized the Shangri-la.

I also started to get stressed thinking...would people be able to afford staying here for a few days, could we afford it? Would they have activities to do? Would I be stressed out trying to entertain them? Would it be a hassle to get there? The Shangri-La answers all those questions.

First, it's 15 minutes from the Mactan International Airport. No worried about flying to Manila, transferring flights, taking a taxi and then a boat to some other resort.

Second, Lapu-Lapu and Cebu City is one of oldest cities in the Philippines, with lots of historic sites to visit. Also because its adjacent to the city there are lots of restaurants, bars and clubs to go to. There is also a playarea for kids and toddlers in the Shangri-La itself. Finally, because it is a beach island, the ability to do scuba diving, boating, etc, are there too. The stress of entertaining guests, or having activities for them to do - gone.

Lastly, thanks to my saviour Regina, she mentions another resort (as well as post pictures) that is close to the Shang where she is planning to accommodate her out of town guests. The cheapest room at the Shangri-La is $240CDN. The rooms at this resort/hotel close by is $65CDN/night. Bingo, another worry gone. And for us, because of this stupid 10 day waiting period to get a Marriage Licence, we'd have to stay in Cebu for an extended period of time. Because of where its located, we should be able to find a vacation rental - someone's empty property - that they rent out with weekly or montly rates. In an initial google search, I found a townhome - a whole house! - for $17CDN/day! Everything is coming together (in my mind) that this wedding is actually POSSIBLE.

So the next step is to get things in place. So I emailed the Shang's event email with an inquiry. 24 hours later, still not response. So I sent another email, with more precise details for a more comprehensive quote to a contact Regina suggested. No response yet, but its only been two hours.

Yesterday, I started to email different wedding planners, again based on a list provided by Regina of local coordinators. Like me, she's not in Cebu, so she needed someone that is there and is an excellent communicator with an out of town bride. Out of the .. 10?... I emailed, only one replied back. Funny enough, it was Regina's planner! (He actually said he was working on a big wedding at the Shang - i.e. Regina's, so I replied, thanking him for responding so quickly, but also to congratulate her from a blog follower. I hope that makes her smile, instead of creeping her out.).

Anyways, so I've just been formulating plans (with Rodney's help of course) in my mind, but have nowhere to go without hearing back from the venue and/or a coordinator. I'll just keep bouncing at the starting line, all ready to go.

<3/ Camille

A little background

We finally decided to do it.

My partner and I have been engaged since 2007. Shortly after that engagement, we became pregnant with our darling Isabela and put anything to do with a wedding on hold. We lived and loved together, and now with such developed common-law laws and acceptance, it didn't really matter to us. We had already knew, we were partners in everything, partners in life.

Late 2009, one day at home I turned to Rodney and asked him if he would marry me if it were in the Philippines. There are only a few times that you can really see in someone eyes, what their heart is feeling, and Rodney's was so happy it was going to burst. So we were happy and started chugging along thinking about wedding details. Rodney and I met, and fell in love, because we both loved dearly our Philippine heritage. We had both been organizers within the Filipino community and believed in a Philippine renaissance, where those abroad learned about their heritage and the strength of its people, outside of food and beauty pageants. A wedding in the Philippines would solidify who we were as individuals and as a couple, and we were so happy.

We promptly discussed our plans with out family and were thrown off our feet when my mother, like the pillar rock that she is, objected and dug her feet into the ground. She wanted a wedding in Toronto only. Despite my father's initial excitement, he had to join the team and reject the wedding. His parents, who were also initially excited, also stated they would not support it unless we wed in Canada. At the time, I also started a new job.

After several months of resistance from parents, difficulty trying to figure out planning a wedding in the Philippines, and I remained on contract at my new job, we decided to abandon plans.

Time passed. We didn't talk about it again, with anyone. Not even between us.

Fast forward to now. My cousin's wedding, November 6, 2010. It was beautiful. Exactly an affair, my parents would want with a big church wedding, lots of guests at a classy reception venue. It was great to go to but Rodney and I knew, that would never be us.

After the wedding, Rodney and I talked. Really, what are we waiting for? For my job to be permanent and not be on contract to contract? Who knows when that will happen! For my parents? If they miss it, who will regret it more? And if we caved to our parents, wouldn't we be terribly unhappy? To go through those motions and to resent our own wedding. So in the end, we decided to just go for it. Even if not a single person was there except for us and our daughter on a beach in the Philippines. That's what we wanted. We actual dreamed about just eloping and getting married on the beach alone.

And now, we're going to try for it! So here we are...

I wanted to keep this blog to remember every moment of it. Another major reason is maybe to be a resource. If anything, it will keep me organized.

You will see from the blog list, two blogs that changed my life! I say changed my life because it effects the wedding, which will be a major event in my life.

You see, trying to figure out how to plan for this wedding eventually got me really down. I was really lost and the fact of not being able to BE there and figure it out, compounded the difficulty of it. I think that was why I abandoned ship so easily the first time. But these blogs brought me back to life. I saw how someone else was planning their wedding (at the venue I want too!) and having a list of places to go and people and resources. You should have seen my excitement. I thought I had discovered gold for the very first time in human history.

The second blog was that of a wedding planner in Cebu (maybe she will be my coordinator!). It's a blog of her story of her wedding and now, of weddings shes working on. Her heart is so amazingly happy and sweet, that I was just drawn to her writing, but also to have an idea of wedding culture in the Philippines by being able to experience other people's wedding. DING! Another diamond.

Maybe my blog will mean something to someone like how these two blog have helped me through so far. If not, c'est la vie!

En y va.

<3 / Camille